Relationships are crucibles for transformation and growth. You get to see where you really are on your path, and where the other is. Each person has strengths and gifts the other will not have, and if both are willing to share and exchange their gifts, both can bloom into wholeness. The key is willingness: what do you value most in a relationship, and what are you prepared to do within the container of a relationship to make it work? What is it worth to you?
We have many different aspects of ourselves. To honor and include them ALL is part of our growth into wholeness and the basis of a transparent, intimate relationship. The following self-inquiry is based on the ancient Egyptian Way of looking at your self and at life. These Nine Bodies, or lenses of perception, are a multidimensional map showing all aspects of ourselves AND the fullness of ourselves, as human and as Divine. When we include all of them, and work on all of these aspects of our Self, we become whole: a Divine Human.
This self inquiry can be done by you and your partner. You can practice it alone to start with, and then do it face-to-face with your partner. Highlighting your strengths and weaknesses and being able to transparently discuss where you can both grow and support each other, makes a relationship conscious and allows love to flourish with wisdom and self empowerment.
At the beginning stages of an intimate relationship, ask yourselves these questions from the cool, still center of your being, ideally before you commit long term or even make love, depending on your preferences and goals. Honestly asking yourself these questions about your partner, and then reversing them to ask them about yourself in relation to your partner, can save a lot of heart ache and makes your relating conscious from the outset.
The Physical Body/Senses
Am I physically attracted to this person? Do our bodies fit well together when we hug? Do our bodies curve together nicely in bed? Are our yoni and lingam compatible size wise? Is his/ her body healthy and vital? Does their natural pheromone fragrance smell good to me? Do they taste good? Do they look good and look after their bodies? Is that important for me? Does their voice feel good to me, or grate on me? Is their general feel, touch and skin warm, comforting and inviting? Does my body feel relaxed next to them? Does my body feel welcomed, nurtured and comforted next to them? Does my body feel excited and alive next to them? Do they intuitively touch me in ways I enjoy? Are they embodied or disembodied?
Are they earning enough money to support themselves? How do they earn their money? Do you have to support them financially? Do you pay for everything when you both go out together? Do you pay your mutual rent and bills? If so, why? Do they spend too much time on the computer, phone and with technology? Are they involved in unethical or matrix based jobs? Are they doing what pays well and not loving it, or are they doing what they love, their soul purpose, and getting paid for that? Are they connecting with Gaia in an authentic, grounded and practical way?
Do I respect this person? Do I admire this person? Are they interesting and stimulating? Do they inspire me? Are they intelligent? Do they have a strong spirit?
Can I feel them when they walk into a room? Do I enjoy their company? Are they stuck in routine, or are they spontaneous? Are they reliable? Are they true to their word? Are they present with me in the moment when we speak? Do they allow unfolding to occur independent of our beliefs, opinions or spiritual path? Are they practical and applied in their spirituality? Can they freely talk about this and apply it? Are they connected to nature and animals? Are they dynamic and engaged? Do they enjoy life? Do they have deep, conscious and soulfully intimate relationships with friends and others, or many superficial ones? Are they intuitive?
Do I love the person, their potential or their essence? Do I feel love when I am with them? Do I appreciate them? Are they devoted to me? Am I devoted to them? Do they adore me? Do I adore them? Do I accept this person? Do I want to be vulnerable with this person? Are they vulnerable with me? Do I love just being with them in the silence? Are they my friend? Do I love them unconditionally? Are they there for me? Do they support my heart to expand and grow? Do they kiss me deeply and intuitively in ways I enjoy and ways in which we meet? Do I feel safe with them? Can I be fully myself with them and express all my heart? Do we have an affectionate companionship? Can I share, support and nurture the other from my own sense of abundance and completeness?
Does my heart sing when I am with them? Do they care for me and look after me? Do they forgive me when I make a mistake or hurt them? Do they have a conscience? Are they moral, or not? Do they listen to and follow their heart in action? Are they generous and giving to me, and others? Do they have good relationships with their family? Can they sense me, and my changing moods and feelings? Do they laugh frequently? Are they joyful to be around? Is there mutuality in your relating? Are they able to cry in front of me? Do I frequently share what I like and love about them? What do I value most about our relating?
Do I feel that this person really sees and feels my essence? Have they really dived into the depths of their feeling soul? Do they have the substance and depth necessary for me to commit to long term? Do they have true wisdom and insight in the moment or do they just have knowledge? Do they really feel gratitude, love, compassion, ecstasy and their own True Self? Do they share this? Do they act with the soul’s intelligence or the intellect? Are they centered in their soul or mind? Can I grow with this person? Does this person have what it takes to hold me, and all that I Am, as well as all that I shall become? Are they flaky, flighty and uncommitted?
Do I feel I can learn from them? Do they inspire me to expand? Can they receive me in all I am? Can I see-feel their pure soul? Are they humble and deeply desiring to grow as a soul and as a human being in their actions, words and emotions? Can they walk beside me on my path? Do I feel met as a soul, in my essence? Can they hold a safe and valid container for the relationship to bloom, despite our differences and ups and downs? Can they hold a space for me in which I can grow and totally be and express myself? Can I be alone when we are together?